Broken Ring

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TravisFandango		Broken Ring	28-09-2012 @ 14:35
Member 1093, 5446 posts SQ 160, BP 105, DL 225 490.0 kgs @ 90kgs UnEq	A week ago today I did a poo the size of Bungle's leg. Something of this size was clearly not desigend to pass through something size of a mouse's ear and this has resulted in me having a painful and seemingly damaged nipsy. Unlike the adverts there isn't "blood in my poo", but it f**king hurts! Has anyone else ever had this? Did it eventually go away, or did you have to go to your GP and tell them you'd bust your starfish?

ursus		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:38
Man up and have a fuckin coffee Member 2086, 9717 posts SQ 340, BP 252.5, DL 300 892.5 kgs @ 158kgs UnEq	TravisFandango said:A week ago today I did a poo the size of Bungle's leg. Something of this size was clearly not desigend to pass through something size of a mouse's ear and this has resulted in me having a painful and seemingly damaged nipsy. Unlike the adverts there isn't "blood in my poo", but it f**king hurts! Has anyone else ever had this? Did it eventually go away, or did you have to go to your GP and tell them you'd bust your starfish? no help sorry mate !!! Just laughter

Wayne_Cowdrey		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:41
Still got a little bit of strength Member 400, 22040 posts	Ripped anuses heal quickly in my experience. Lots of water and fruit, and poo cautiously until things settle down.

martinb		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:43
Grass fed Member 1147, 7710 posts SQ 220, BP 185, DL 272.5 677.5 kgs @ 113kgs UnEq	I would go to the doctor and describe it to them in the exact same way!

TravisFandango		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:44
Member 1093, 5446 posts SQ 160, BP 105, DL 225 490.0 kgs @ 90kgs UnEq	ursus said: no help sorry mate !!! Just laughter Thanks! To be honest, through the constant pain, I do find it amusing. I especially the bit where I had to explain to my colleagues why I wasn't in a very good mood. I do hope someone has some form of helpful suggestion though.

TravisFandango		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:46
Member 1093, 5446 posts SQ 160, BP 105, DL 225 490.0 kgs @ 90kgs UnEq	Wayne_Cowdrey said:Ripped anuses heal quickly in my experience. Lots of water and fruit, and poo cautiously until things settle down. Been doing the fruit and water thing Mr Wayne and I thought it was getting better, but it hurts again now. Do you have much experience in ripped anuses?? martinb said:I would go to the doctor and describe it to them in the exact same way! I'd probably spend more time working on my exact wording, but I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.

MrSmall		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:49
Gone and easily forgotten....... Member 331, 22298 posts SQ 185, BP 100, DL 230 515.0 kgs @ 85kgs UnEq	Wayne_Cowdrey said:Ripped anuses heal quickly in my experience. Lots of water and fruit, and poo cautiously until things settle down. Not sure if this deadpan post or the original, is funnier.


VanillaGorilla		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:50
the UK's leading expert in bio mechanics Member 1973, 7379 posts	I once got Veet on my poopchute. That stung. I can't help, but I can empathise.

TravisFandango		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:52
Member 1093, 5446 posts SQ 160, BP 105, DL 225 490.0 kgs @ 90kgs UnEq	VanillaGorilla said:I once got Veet on my poopchute. That stung. I can't help, but I can empathise. I hope you're not trying to pretend you did that accidentally?

craigmanc		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:52
not much fun Member 374, 3172 posts	When Wayne said about the fruit thing, he ment just use a large banana to ream out your ring!!

VanillaGorilla		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:54
the UK's leading expert in bio mechanics Member 1973, 7379 posts	TravisFandango said: I hope you're not trying to pretend you did that accidentally? People will believe what they want to believe.

TravisFandango		...	28-09-2012 @ 14:56
Member 1093, 5446 posts SQ 160, BP 105, DL 225 490.0 kgs @ 90kgs UnEq	craigmanc said:When Wayne said about the fruit thing, he ment just use a large banana to ream out your ring!! If I thought that would help I'd probably try it. For someone who enjoys a good sit down as much as I do this is quite unpleasant and desperate times call for desperate measures.

martinb		...	28-09-2012 @ 15:01
Grass fed Member 1147, 7710 posts SQ 220, BP 185, DL 272.5 677.5 kgs @ 113kgs UnEq	go to the doctors

VanillaGorilla		...	28-09-2012 @ 15:04
the UK's leading expert in bio mechanics Member 1973, 7379 posts	http://www.virtua.org/adam/graphics/images/en/7134.jpg

TravisFandango		...	28-09-2012 @ 15:09
Member 1093, 5446 posts SQ 160, BP 105, DL 225 490.0 kgs @ 90kgs UnEq	martinb said:go to the doctors I got as far as looking on the NHS website which said it could heal itself in a few weeks, the alternatives seem to be horrible to consider. The thought of someone operating on my tea towel holder doesn't exactly fill me with glee. I was hoping someone would say 'Yeah, happens to me all the time, I just stick some (product x) on it and it eventually goes away.' I'll give until next time I sleep in and need an excuse to be late.

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